Blue Happy Living

I’m rounding the corner to my 6 year mark from having my first surgery. I have not had one regret. I look back on the past 6 years and realize what has happened saved my life. Obesity is more than massive amounts of fat cells attached to your body. It goes way deeper than fat cells.  It is a head thing and a heart thing all wrapped up into one.  It starts with those 5lbs that you gain without really knowing it. Then all of the sudden you are 50lbs plus over weight. For me it climed up to 304lbs before I stood up and began my journey.

First lets start with this “Hello my name is LaTonya and I have a food addiction”. Before I could start that journey I had to get to the root of why I got there. Why I felt food could sooth me and take away the pain. How come I turned to food and did not deal with the issues in my life. These questions aren’t so easy to answer but I answered them one at a time over a period of time. I still struggle with a couple of them if I get stressed or worried. I have to be on guard all of the time.

When I talk about my journey openly in front of people I get so many remarks, good ones, bad ones and crazy ones. The most common is “Oh I had a friend who did that and they gained all their weight back.” or “My sister had that done and now she is bigger than she was before, I think something went wrong with her surgery.” Let me address both of these remarks.

First, any of the bariatric surgeries are nothing but a tool. Just like with any weight loss program people drop the weight and some gain it back. Yes, the surgery is drastic and weight loss is fast at first but its no different than a food weight loss program. If you don’t work the program fully it will not work. I know people that have had the surgery and still eat all of the foods they did before but in smaller amounts. I don’t because I know I have a food addiction and returning to those foods and habits only set me up to fail. I’m not perfect and I do wonder off the path of my journey here and there but a quick reminder of where I was gets me right back on my journey.

So what is in my frig and what do I eat. Well I eat a lot of shrimp, chicken, veggies and apples are my go to fruit along with watermelon and strawberries. I do have dark chocolate in my frig that is 85% coco. It is my treat on those days I feel beat up and need a little pick me up. Like I said I’m a food addict and the tendency to lean on food will always be there. I just have to learn not to open myself up to eating whatever and whenever so I don’t go back to old habits. Snack foods for me are bell peppers, almonds, protein shakes and cucumbers.  I do not eat any dairy.  It upsets my stomach and causes pain in my joints.  I do prep my meals most weeks and that makes it so easy to stay on track.  You tend to cheat when you are hungry and there isn’t a quick fix.  Having the meals ready to grab for lunch or dinner stops those bing moments for me.   I do fall into my old habits sometimes and chips are my weakness. I try not to buy them or have them around me. Oh those flavored Ruffles!

“You work out more than you should.” If I hear that one time a week it’s gotta be 10 times in a week I hear it. Yes I work out Monday through Friday about 2 to 2 1/2 hours every morning. It has been suggested that I only replaced my food addiction with my workout addiction. There might be a bit of truth in that. Going back to the start of this remember I said “Hello my name is LaTonya and I have a food addiction”. I will be a food addict the rest of my life and exercise is one way for me to keep that at bay. It is hard work to keep this journey on track. Working out keeps me inline and on track without worrying about those moments I do slip up.

I still have things I want to accomplish.  Toning is at the top of that list.  Another great question is are you still trying to loose weight? Well the answer is yes but it’s more about leaning up for  up coming events I have signed up for.  The leaner I am the less stress on my body.  So I’m working on my BMI and toning different areas of my body.  At 53 years old I’m as surprised and most people are that I have taken this journey in life.  I love the way I feel and the energy I have for life.  I don’t ever want to be the old LaTonya who was on the path of “death by food”.  She no longer exist in my head.  I don’t ever want to forget her and how sad she was because I always want a constant reminder of how far I’ve come.

So here’s to the next 6 years and many more of this restored life journey.  I can’t wait to see what is around the corner.  I do know a few things coming up but my lips are sealed.  You never know just what path this journey will go down.