I can’t believe I’m in my 50’s much less 53. It seems so unreal for me to even blog about such a large number birthday. I look back on life and think why did I waste so much time on things that had so little value. In the moment those things seem to have value but looking back the value was what I made it at the time. I don’t believe in seeing into the future but sometimes I think wow how much easier life would be if we could.
Today started with a visit from my daughter and her kiddo’s. We got in the pool, discovered that Scarlett loves the water, Ethan is a great shot with the water gun and my homemade chicken salad was the perfect lunch after pool time. They went home for a much needed nap and I was off to Forney for an auction pick up at Rusty’s. Then things went a bit south because my 3 day old new iPhone 10 went crazy. That is how I spent the rest of my birthday afternoon with AT&T and Apple. Greg got home and rescued the day by talking their language. I don’t speak anything but art. I did get lots of calls, text and FB messages before the phone thing went all crazy. I’m blessed to have so many people in my life that love and care about me. I couldn’t do life without these moneys in my circus.
My birthday isn’t a day that really bothers me. I mean oh boy that number is big but it is what it is. I’m happy the number keeps getting bigger. With every year I try to learn from the journey I have taken. Most of the time those journeys come and go with in that year. Sometimes there are journeys I have been walking for years. I left Arkansas just a few weeks before I turned 21. I have never looked back but for the past 32 year I have waited for that call on my birthday. It never came and this year it didn’t either. I’m letting go today, I end that journey. Sometime we have to look at not what we want but what we have been blessed with. My cup runneth over with those that love me. Family comes in more forms than we will ever know through a life time. I’m not saying letting go is and will be easy we all want to be excepted and loved. So what have I learned this year? We can never expect anything other than what we are willing to give ourselves. We can’t depend on others to lift our spirit and soul, that must come from within our own hearts. Love is free but pain can cost you years of waste. Moving on sometimes is the only choice to save your own sanity.
So this is 53 I’m damaged, broken, put back together and above all loved. I’m married 32 years to my hero, I’m a mom of 2 by birth, 2 by marriage and blessed with 3 amazing grand babies. My bestie is without a doubt a golden thread in my heart. I love dogs, cats not so much, I love my home, I love God and my faith. I’m a teacher by the grace of God. I teach because I love those kids that walk into my class room. I hope for peace and love of all people but mostly children, I don’t want to judge just show love no matter who you are. I love braclets and my long hair. I don’t like to dress up but I will for the right dinner. My favorite food is taco’s because every thing is better in a taco shell. I once was over 300lbs but not now or ever again. I love to workout and I pray when I run every morning. There is no question my gym girls keep my life going. I do love them so very much. So this is 53 and from where I sit it’s pretty dang amazing.
