Blue Happy Living

Words are hard to find at this moment. I have sat here in front of my blog page with nothing but silence. I started my day with my sweet girls in the Honors Art Society. I tried so hard to bring a different purpose to this day, but I’m left with they same thoughts that have taken over my heart on this day for the past 31 years. Without a doubt the event 31 years ago changed me, my heart and the corse of my life. I never really understood the weight this day would have until years later.

On this day 31 years ago my daddy passed away in the middle of the night. I was 21 years old, married and pregnant with my daughter Heather.  I’m not sure of all that happened that night. I’m not even really sure of the final cause of death. What I do know is my Daddy was gone. He was a man well-loved, always gave is best and never let anything in life defeat him. He was handsome, a dreamer and a go getter. Nothing could beat him. I use to say I was nothing like him but now that I’m older I see that I’m most like him. He told me you are born who you are and you get what you work for. Always work hard and keep your word, because that is really all you have.

He was such a strong man but was weak at heart for a silly little dog called Fancy Pants. He took care of that dog just like it was family. I’m an animal lover as well. I was so lucky to be raised by him. He offered strength in lessons, love that was most of the time hard and when needed almost always a shoulder to cry on. I don’t ever remember not feeling like I was special, even when I wasn’t being good.  He made me proud of who I was and where I came from.

I’m a person that has no regrets. Although I do wish my Daddy could have met his grand kids and oh how he would have loved his great grands.  God had a different plan.  My Daddy’s death made me cleave to my husband.  It made me trust God in one of the hardest times of my life.  His death made me grow up and be my own person.  It’s how I’ve always said, there is a blessing in all the good and bad in your life.  You just have to look for it, name it and claim it.

I wish I had all kinds of photo’s of my Daddy to show you but I don’t.  I only have a few my grandmother gave me. The only words left on my heart today are……….I’ve met many people famous and not so famous in my life time but no one could hold a candle to my Daddy.