Blue Happy Living

Ugh, no really ugh I do not like winter. It’s cold, wet, depressing and the repeat of all that 10 times fold. I love late march when warm weather starts to arrive and things begin to blossom. It’s so refreshing from the long cold and dark winter. With out a doubt seasons will come and go each year and there isn’t really anything we can do about it. A wise man once told me there is a purpose to every season. I get spring, I get summer and I even get fall they are all so beautiful. Winter it’s just about dead, dark and dying things. I guess that is the point of winter. Everything in life that is good or bad sooner or later has a death. With out the death of winter there would be no rebirth of spring and the thriving life of summer. Fall prepares us for the death to come with winter. It really does all make sense if you put your head around it.

Harder to put my head around are the seasons of my life.  When I was young I never really thought about getting older.  50 seemed so old, heck 30 seemed old.  I had my first child at 22 and my second at 28.  I thought I knew it all at the ripe old age of 21, just married living in San Antonio Texas and having a blast.  The reality of changing season hit me hard with the death of my daddy.  I was still a kid even though I was 21 married and pregnant with my first child.  That changing season came as a sharp blow to my life there was no fall season to warn me it rolled in like a hard winter storm.  I walked around for years in a fog always looking for an answer as to why this happened.  It wasn’t the way I thought things would be. During those foggy years many other seasons in my life came and went.   Never the less my life season changed that day and there was nothing I could do about it.

So many blessed years I’ve been given to live on this earth.  I married my hero, had a daughter and a son, lived in many beautiful homes and places, had some pretty special animals, shared my love for Jesus, taught some pretty amazing children, found my bestie, watched both my children marry and now I’m a grandmother of 3, started Blue Happy Living, shared my passion and love for art and continue to be blessed with all of this.  I could go on for days with all the amazing blessings in my changing seasons, but to be honest there has been some winter seasons.  I’ve watched as faithful dogs have passed away, friends have battled cancer and other illnesses, I’ve seen people walk away from their faith, jobs lost, family and friends pass away, walked in fear of what happened in my past, carried hurt and pain in my heart, I’ve seen judgement passed on those I love, I’ve failed to share my faith, I’ve not been the best friend at times and I’ve sinned.

Like the weather life is and will always be a changing season.  Over the past year I’ve watched as my life is entering into a changing season.  I’ve turned my head and pretended it wasn’t.  That did nothing to change it only prolonged what was up ahead.  I’m still struggling with whats ahead and not really sure how to navigate my changing season.  I know that I’m willing to pray and dig deep into my faith for guidance, but I’m still human and don’t want things to change, just stay the same.  With age comes change and with change comes growth.  I guess it’s true when they say you never stop growing.  Your heart and mind continue until you take your last breath.  I find myself wanting to hold my breath.  I love life and I love my life. I just need to find away to accept change and see it as a season of growth not death. So look out my boat is about to start rock’in and change is coming.