There are those days that nothing turns out the way you plan them. No matter how you try once you are off task it’s hard to jump back onto your routine. I had great plans today but as the day went on I quickly realized my blog project wasn’t going to get finished. I made great effort but as the sun set I knew today was not a banner day.
That is a hard thing for me to admit. I’m trying so hard and every minute of my day is planned. If I drop the ball at any point the plan scatters and goes in all kinds of direction. I’m a people pleaser and knowing I let someone down destroy’s me. I guess that’s another thing to add to my list of things to work on.
Tonight I go to bed feeling like a failure. Tonight I go to bed sad because there are people who decided to copy my craft and call it their own. Someone told me that is the highest form of a compliment. For me it’s called theft at it’s worse. Blue happy was about making people happy, doing projects that everyone could afford and most of all it was about a dream I’ve had for years. Blue Happy is the blessing of my talent given to me by my Creator. I’m bruised and hurt by a few people who decided they needed to be selfish. What I create is truly from my heart so making it less by coping it makes it a decreased value. I don’t understand taking advantage of people. Knowing the rules but asking for extra favor that breaks those rules. All the while others are watching and feeling less because you decided to bend the rules. I know I should brush it off and let it go but my heart is tender. So my feelings are on my sleeve. Working hard to make Blue Happy a success got trampled on today. Words were said that can’t be taken back. By fault I’m a grudge holder and I know my faith says that is wrong so I need prayer for that. I don’t understand why people have to depend on others action to make them happy. I came from a dark and sad back ground. I knew I was the only one that could make me happy. So I went in search of this happiness. It took years to find it I only wish those around me could be happy for me.
I thought being fake was wrong so I opened my heart. Artist are of a tender soul and we feel every emotion that most don’t feel. Tonight I ask for your prayers that I can forgive these people who have offended me. I ask for your prayers that I can look over what has been done. I know my talent is God-given and I know he intends for me to use it. Thank you for letting me be real on this blog and opening my heart. Please count your blessings and say your prayers.
