I’m one that doesn’t like changes. I keep a pretty routine life day in and day out. There are changes but I control them so not to rock my world to hard. Those changes that are out of my control send me into a tail spin. From the beginning of this year there have been so many changes that were out of my control. Yesterday yet another change. In January my school took a big hit when one of our students passed away. At first it seemed like we were all in a daze. When reality hit weeks later it put so much into perspective. I’m blessed to share in the lives of these kids. I get to watch them grow not only in life but in their walk with Christ. I value that more now than ever.
Along the way through this year I have dealt with other small and large changes. It is life after all and things really never stay the same. This journey of loosing weight has taught me I can adjust to change. Welcome it good or bad and stand firm without wavering. I have a dear friend that is leaving very soon. She is off to a great adventure with her young family. She has done my hair for over 7 years but much more than that she became my friend. I’m happy for her but at the same time it’s change I don’t like. Getting to know someone new, telling them all my quirks about myself and how I like my hair makes me feel uncomfortable. Never the less I’ll manage I always do.
Yesterday was a change I was blind sided by. I’m not at liberty to say who but someone very important in my journey will be stepping away from my 5 year plan. It can’t be helped and my heart goes out to them. The only way I can explain my tail spin is that I don’t trust myself. I feel like a tiny bird that has been pushed from the nest out over the ocean. It’s sink or swim time, fall or fly but giving up is the easy way. I always seem to run the hardest path in my life so I think I’ll fly. Knowing I’m on my own will be a hard struggle. All my doctors have taught me well how to beat this disease called obesity. I know all the right and wrong things to do, but it’s still very scary knowing you are now on your own. There is no hand to hold, no fall back and your daily results are yours to own. WOW just thinking about that blows my mind. In some way I feel that tiny little tickle deep inside that’s saying grab it, run with it. So I guess I’m gonna itch that tickle and bull nose right through this change. I’m gonna fight like a girl shoving my fears aside. There isn’t really a choice.
To that person that has so lovingly supported me from the beginning. Thank you for all you have done to help me. I’m praying for you as you move through the next stages of your life. I know you will be watching as I finish this race, because after all we all need to see the end of it. Before you all message me asking about my family or my bestie Karen they are all fine. This is someone outside of my family someone that came into my life because of my journey. Have a Blue Happy day!
