Blue Happy Living

I spent many years thinking if I could just get this done or that. If I could meet this one goal or if I could put this one thing behind me boy wouldn’t life be great. The only thing I accomplished with these thoughts was wasting my time. I couldn’t see the life in front of me for looking to the future and hoping things would change.

When I was a kid I would dream everyday about turning 18 so I could go live my life. When I turned 18 I couldn’t wait to get married have a family and then my life would be perfect. A clip right of a Disney movie. If I could just get the kids older life will be easier, my house will be cleaner and I’ll be more relaxed. Nope, Nope and Nope it didn’t happen at all. As I got older life got more stressful. I felt like I was never gonna get ahead of feeling like I was drowning.

I’m sad to say it took me up until I was turning 50 to realize life is what it is. It’s always stressful and messed up to some degree. If I wanted it to be perfect I was fooling myself with these thoughts. Life will never be perfect I just had to look for the sun shine and blue skies. They are there you just have to look for them.

I was 2 years into my health journey when I had a strange thought one morning. I was driving to teach and I thought my life is really good. I kinda like it and the way it is going. I had to look around because I never had those thoughts. Who is this person that is liking their life even smiling about it. It was me the person that was always looking for a better perfect way. For once I saw that life is what I make it. That even thought there are bad times if you look the sun will peek through the clouds a bit everyday. From that day on while driving to work I would try to think of the good things in my life. I would make sure before I reached school that I had listed all the good in my life. I would arrive at school say a prayer of thanks for my wonderful life then off to my class. Everyday I still look for the special things in my life. I’m grateful that I have learned to look at things that aren’t perfect.Find the value in what is there at that moment and smile about it. There are many things like Greg travels a lot, but he has a good job that takes care of our needs. My children are grown and gone but they are happy, married and giving me grandchildren. Teaching at school, writing a blog and keeping up with my booth at Doc’s is hard work but I’m healthy enough to do all three. Working out 5 days a week before the sun comes up is tough but God wakes me every morning to run another day.

Yesterday I went to the hospital to hold my new granddaughter but I didn’t get to. I went back at the next hold time and thought I was gonna miss it again. A nurse realized that I was there the second time to just hold her for the first time. She was so sweet and offered me a chance to hold her while she prepared her feeding tube. I wasn’t upset about all the miss chances, I was grateful for the few minutes I got to hold her.

Life is how you look at it. It’s about the big picture not the little things that don’t work out. Sometimes we have to dig deep and look to see the blue skies but I promise they are there waiting for you to soak up the Blue Happy rays.