Growth Hurts Sometimes

I have never been more focused in my life. It’s as if my vision has become tunneled on my journey and looking outside of that isn’t an option. The hard part is thinking about all the time I wasted in my life focused on so many things that have no value to me at all. I’ve had times in my life that I over focused on what happened in my childhood, people who never liked or loved me, mistakes I made, opportunities I missed and the list goes on and on. I’m not sure where and when the switched flipped but it has flipped and I’m moving on.

Growth is something we all do , need and can’t avoid. Our physical bodies change as does our souls. There are moments in my life that were so great I wanted to freeze time. If I did I’m sure that I would have grown tired of being in the moment and dream of what is next and there has to be more. Wanting more and wishing for a better tomorrow isn’t wrong at all, it’s who we are as humans. Even the person in the lowest place in life dreams of a better tomorrow.

One of the hardest times in my life was when I was 20. I left home in an abrupt manner, moved over 1000 miles away on my own in a beat up old car. I had $200 in 20 dollar bills in my wallet. I was so scared I had no idea how this journey was going to come out. Only 4 months after I left home my daddy died. My thoughts were, what have I done. I don’t think there was 1 second I wasn’t praying under my breath for God to carry me. I put my trust in him because deep in my heart I knew this move was led by him. I followed my heart 31 years ago and God gave me the best gift ever. I’ll be married 31 years in June. I jumped and I landed solid.

I can look back on my life and there were many times I jumped and did not land solid. I can’t say those missed jumps were all bad because I learned from those falls. Can’t say I loved the lesson but I can say I’m grateful for them. Yes I’m grateful for the times I have fallen. Today I’m a better wife, friend, mom and grandmother for falling. I learned from all those people who did me wrong as a child and young adult. I never wanted to be a person like them. Their faults and hatred for life grew me, and for that I’m grateful.

Life sometimes has felt like the good times were out weighed by the bad times. In life it takes all of it to make you grow in your journey. In the spring I love to fill my porch with flowers and lots of them. They remind me of growth and how sometimes it’s pretty and sometimes it’s not so pretty. I found this plant stand at a garage sale and it was it not so pretty. I gave it the Blue Happy treatment and now it’s ready for your front porch, patio or maybe in the house. It’s a great piece to add living growth around you. Sometimes life makes us feel ugly but with prayer followed by faith we can feel pretty again within our growth.