Blue Happy Living

You didn’t hear from me yesterday  I took a day to be quiet and pray. Today is the day I’m having my second surgery for skin removal from my thighs and my arms.  Please pray for me and my doctor along with his medical team.  I’m ready I’ve prayed about this for over a year and I’m excited about getting one step closer to putting my body back the way God intended it to be.  Today I reflected on the journey that got me to the eve of yet another surgery.

Blogs will flow as normal hoping that I don’t miss any days.  Yesterday was the first time I’ve missed since I started my blog.  I’m really sorry I just needed a day to be in my thoughts and know that I thought it all through.  Sometimes we just need to step back and look at the picture before us.  I did that and I loved that time to myself.  I prepared my classes for my subs, I cleaned my house, did laundry and picked up a few things I will need during my recovery.  About mid day I had lunch with my daughter and her kids.  We also did a quick stop at build-a-bear that was fun.  Ethan was so excited and talked and talked and talked.  I finished by afternoon with a great conversation with my son.  We talked about our faith and how it has evolved in our lives.  When I hung up I realized he isn’t my little boy anymore he is becoming quiet the young man I’m proud of. 

Only one more surgery after this one and it will be all done.  Starting at the beginning I couldn’t believe I would ever be here today. Standing at one more door, one more stage and most of all almost to the finish line.  The finish line of the journey will only be the beginning of a new race.  I have to learn to live with this body, eat well and never go back.  I’ve dealt with the why’s, what if’s and the how come that caused me to abuse food.  I’m clear on that without a doubt as to the who what’s and why.  Now I take that information and learn from it.  I don’t let it drag me back there ever again.  I’m not the person I was 4 years ago, clearly I’m smaller but I’m talking about mentally.  I’m stronger and know who I am now more than ever before.  All I can say is boy it feels good.

So today at 7am I will be rolling into the surgery room with no questions, doubts or fears.  My God is so good and allowed me peace about all of my past, present and fears.  So say a prayer for me.  I’ll blog on Thursday late evening as to how I’m feeling.  If I don’t feel like blogging your will get a blog sent our by my daughter or my husband.  Have a Blue Happy Wednesday!