I’m writing this blog on Sunday evening with a smile on my face. School starts tomorrow and I had a to do list a mile long. This time of year I feel the need to get everything done that my crazy little head thinks up. Trust me when I say the list is long, over done and somewhat ridiculous. I know this about myself but every time there is a big event in my life or small I still expect over achieving moments. I don’t know why I do this I just do and every time I tell myself next time you are gonna relax step back and enjoy the process.
After finishing teacher in service last week and preparing my class room I arrived home to start the task of tackling this to do list. It was a bumpy night with storms in North Texas and then no electricity until late that night. I wanted to cry as I just wasted time walking around Target to keep cool. Finally I got notification from my phone that the garage door was back on-line so I knew we had lights. Home I went to try to save a bit of time to get things done. I did get a few things marked off that night but it looked like Saturday and Sunday would be a long two days. Before I went to bed I had to decide what was important to get done. I started giving one’s to the had to get done, two’s went on the should get done and Three’s finished off the list with need to but can wait until Tuesday. This is me and my weird little head I can’t just let things happen the way they fall. It’s really a crazy way to live and time-consuming. I don’t seem to want to change because I’ve been this way most of my life and this feeling seems to get stronger as I get older. I have a need to be prepared, to not get caught with my pants down so to speak. The sad thing is I like it this way, I like the thrill of getting things done, racing to the finish and just in the nick of time crossing that finish line. It’s like I get some kinda high from this rushing around. I’m pretty sure a few doctors would have a lot to say about me and my issues but I don’t care.
Everyday I try to enjoy life and live in the moment of what is going on. My need for order and control gets the best of me sometimes. I have to tell myself everyday and most of the time hourly to slow down, breath and enjoy where my feet are standing. There is nothing more unhappy than to rush through a moment and then look back only to realize you missed it even though you were there. I can give countless moments when I’ve done this. I try not to think about it but I’m sure I rushed through a big part of my 20’s and 30’s. I was so interested in what is up the road I couldn’t enjoy what I was doing at the time. I just wanted more of life when all along I had a great life right in front of me. It’s so easy to worry and take from your present by pondering the what if’s of the future. What if I don’t get that job, what if my in-laws stay to long, what if my child doesn’t make the grades or team. All through life we steal from our present by allowing the “what if’s” of the future to rob us. I’ve made a promise to myself, this school year will be different so I made a plan. It took some doing but I made it. I got done what I need to get out-of-the-way so that I could enjoy this year and all it had to offer.
So I’m about to get in to bed not just any bed my big fluffy bed with clean sheets. All my laundry is done, my breakfast and lunch is made for the week and my house is clean. I’ve got a great week of blogs ready to post and this week it’s called Crappy to Happy Week!! The next 4 days will be a new reveal each day. You are gonna love them all. Every thing was from the trash and recycled to live once more renewed. I’m hoping that I will plan better and not try to take so much of my time running in circles with to do list. Do you have any of these issue that I have, gosh I hope not. Here’s to Monday the fresh start we all need. Have a Blue Happy day and remember live in the moment not next week.
