Blue Happy Living

Life brings on so many different events and moments. Good or bad we can learn from all of them. Sometimes we are forced to stand by and watch as an event happens in the life of someone we love. You wanna help or just do something that will make a difference, but you can’t you are locked out with no key. Late last year my best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. At first when she called and told me I could hear the words but it didn’t seem real. I thought what does this mean, how will it change things and this has to be a mistake. It wasn’t and here we are months later and so much has changed.

I have watched this unfold in her life and in the lives of her family. It is an unbelievable painful thing to watch. She is a strong women but such a soft loving person. I have always felt Karen was beautiful inside and out. Every time you see her she is always put together with not one hair out-of-place, make-up on and the perfect pressed t-shirt. Cancer wore on her soul and ripped apart her thoughts. With every chemo treatment this tall vibrant women became weak and slow. She withdrew from our social life and cried for the life she once had. At the end of the treatments her body was so very weak. The side effects were hard and lasted lengthy time periods after the treatment.

Last night Greg and I were invited to a family dinner. Karens Mom and Brother were in town. I was a bit quiet as I watched her with her family. She was so worried about if everyone had what they needed. She worked the table like a busy bee getting lids for to go boxes and bags to carry them home in. Somewhere in that night I noticed the old Karen coming back. Returning to the life she lived before cancer robbed her of time. I wanted to cry, grab her and say you are in there just climb back out.

Cancer is a dark hole you never want to go. I feel like I’m on the outside looking into small windows. There is no door to this house of horror, just windows to watch it all go down. Although I can reach in and try to hold her up it seems hopeless at points. Last night was as if a door had started to form, a door she will soon walk out of.

I know Karen well and she is reading this and thinking “oh I didn’t mean to burden her with all this cancer stuff”. It was never a burden it was love that kept me from walking away, it was hope of you getting better that made me pray and it was a friendship that is much like a marriage “in sickness and in health” so I ain’t going anywhere.  She is getting  better and we have so much more to celebrate in our friendship.  She is gonna be mad at me because I posted this picture but I don’t care, she has been mad at me before she’ll get over it.  Cancer is dark, mean, hatful and life draining but, fight and fight back hard life is worth it.  She has more treatments and more surgery but Karen will win this!!!! Karen inspires me and if I’m honest I’ve had to lean on my faith more than ever before. For a women it’s hard not to have the body you want, the perfect hair or be what you want your over all look to be. I know this has been so hard on her but…………just look at her. She is beautiful and I love her!