So much going on in my life and I get over whelmed at times. I love to be busy and checking things off my to do list. Now that school is winding down I start the prep for summer art camp at Wylie Prep. This year we are doing things a bit different having camp the week following school closing for the summer. It seem to work best for everyone’s schedule and I like knowing my summer is free after May. I’m a person that likes to keep things in order and know what is my next step. There are a few things in my life that are a bit crazy with no set path to follow. I’m a little crazy myself watching these things unfold.
I think I just told you my deep dark secret I like to be in control and if I’m not I get a bit cranky. This is something I have to work on every day. Reality is you can’t be in control 100% of everything all the time. Tell that to my head at 3am when I can;t sleep and my alarm is going off at 4am. I wish I could just shut my head down and rest. It seems impossible at times to close down and relax. My thoughts are there is so much to do and I have so little time to do all. I move in and out of my day hoping everything goes as planned and I don’t have to worry about things getting out of control. There is that word again CONTROL! Many times in my life control has been taken away from me unexpectedly. Like when my Daddy died when I was pregnant and 21, when Greg got sick in 2009 and again in 2016 or when Greg was played off not once but twice. I would panic almost like a chicken that just had their head chopped off. Unless you were raised on a farm you can’t understand that remark so sorry for the weird visual. I need control in my life I don’t do well with off the cuff decision-making or spur of the moment plans. So many people have told me that I’m an odd person because I have the gift and heart of being an artist but the control issue of a type A person. I really don’t understand that remark because I believe we are all unique and special in our own ways.
When many things are out of control I seem to dial in on something and make it my focus of work. I think it’s easier on me to do that and it helps me feel in control. I don’t mind telling you today it is my laundry room or what I call a step through laundry closet. I just can’t take it any more in the state it’s in. It has no organization or style. I don’t like coming home and walking through the disorganized mess and feeling so defeated. It doesn’t matter how clean the house is or how organized it is, walking first into this mess blows it for me. So that is my plan over this weekend to redo my laundry room along with starting the dry bar for my son-in-law. Blogging on that next week!
We all cope with things in our own way. I use to eat and eat and eat to make myself feel better, and that only got me in the bad health I was in. Now I pour myself into my home, work or gym. I’m sure that professionals would say I need to get help, ok maybe but I’m cool with how I deal with things in my present life. I look at it like this I could have worse habits that would be bad for me and my new habits are really good for me. Like I’ve said before there in past blogs there are things in my past I run from and that works for me. I just make sure I run fast enough that I don’t let it catch me. It might not be the best way but finding what works for you is where you need to be and live within it.
These things that are out of my control I’m working on. I’m sure I will soon reel them in and catch control. That’s a little fishing humor for my nephew Daniel he seems to love to fish. I’m working hard on letting go of those things I can’t control and excepting them despite my control issues. That’s a hard one that is going to require hours of prayer. I hope that you find what works for you to except those things in life that just don’t feel right or work for you. For now I’m just gonna give my husband, kids and puppies a big hug and enjoy my Thursday. Have a fantastic Blue Happy Day!
